THE 40-SOMETHING LIFE CRISIS

Feeling like a diva in your late twenties till mid-thirties and the next moment waking up feeling like an old bag of shoes hit me right between the eyes.

The face staring back at me in the mirror seemed tired, older, more mature.  It felt less happy, as if it was searching for something.  Was this really an overnight transformation or was it so well camouflaged that in my hustle doing everyday life I missed it.

The 40- something life crisis (yes that is a thing, also referred to as a midlife crisis).  The male midlife crisis is such a well-known phenomenon but how does it look like for women?  Part of this challenging time for women include sleep problems, increased depression and anxiety, and physical changes related to menopause.

“Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis” by Ada Calhoun was an eye-opening read for me. According to Calhoun most women reported similar midlife challenges that can be summarized as, “We are overwhelmed, underpaid and exhausted.”

Despite being exhausted, we just can’t sleep. We can’t turn off our brains

I absolutely relate, and without even realising it and not wanting to admit it, I am clearly going though some change.  Whatever it is called.    

To top this all up, I struggle my ass off to lose weight.  For some reason your body just holds on to every single ounce of unnecessary fat around all the areas you definitely don’t want.

Nothing works anymore, it’s facials here and collagen there.  The clothing you find in the stores are either for women in their twenties or women in their fifties.  Its Microneedling and Microblading, Botox and fillers.  Nothing really makes you look like you did a few years back.

You have this constant feeling of being mediocre. 

But then I look in the mirror with a different set of lenses and I see a beautiful woman, yes one with scars and cellulite but one with wisdom and experience.  Yes, maybe a tired bag of shoes but shoes that has traveled and experienced and loved.  Mature shoes that know about appreciating things, endurance and overcoming.

A woman that knows what she wants and works hard to achieve that.  I see Me.

I see a woman, like so many out there, that is extremely hard on herself.  A woman that tries hard, every day of her life, to be better and to become a better version of herself. 

I see a woman that need to relax more, and breathe more.  One that needs to tell herself how amazing and beautiful and worthy she is. 

That woman is me.